


A matter of time

by Sofy2801



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 16:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12324591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sofy2801/pseuds/Sofy2801
Summary: Adil knew he couldn't stay with Toby after everything that happened between them.Toby knew there was no other choice for them to be happy than be together.It was just a matter of time...Two chapters with a different end for Toby&Adil story.





	1. Chapter 1

They were still holding each other when they heard a bomb explosion quite near, and Toby realised that the sirens started to ring when he was running to reach Adil’s flat.  
They had to find a shelter, it wasn’t safe to stay there.

“We cannot stay here, there’s a shelter nearby?”

Adil nodded “On the other side of the yard”

“Ok, are you able to walk there?”

“Yes, I think”

They reached the shelter, and stay there, without saying a word, avoiding the looks of the other people who were surely wondering what an Indian man and an aristocrat wearing a smoking were doing together.

When finally the raid was over, they silently went back in Adil’s flat, placing a chair to keep the door closed. There was no trace of gas smell, and since Adil seemed very weak and tired, Toby decided they could stay here for tonight.

He was looking at the man he loved, seated on the bed, his head down, taking deep breaths. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him that everything was fine…but it wasn’t, not for Adil. He didn’t know what to do, probably it was just a matter of time, as they say, time heals your wounds, and Adil has always been the stronger one. He would wait, for as much as it would take for his love to come back to him, he would give him space, but never leaving his side, so that Adil would know he could always count on Toby.

Right now, he just needed him to say something…

Adil raised his head, the saddest look on his beautiful face. “You can go back to the party now, I’m fine…”

“This is out of the question, I’m staying here tonight”

Adil opened his mouth to reply, but when he saw the determined look on Toby’s face, he stayed silent. He stood up and reached for the wardrobe “If you’re sleeping here, you need a pyjama, that suit is not comfortable”

Toby let put a relieved breath, it seemed Adil was back in being the practical man he’s always been.

“Here, this is big for me, is one my father’s, it should suit you”

“Thanks” Toby smiled, trying to get a reaction from Adil, who immediately turn to take his own pyjama and begun to undress, giving his back to Toby.

He took on the message, Adil didn’t want to talk or have contacts with him. And it was fine…well, maybe not much fine but he perfectly understood. He hurt him, badly, by saying words he didn’t mean to say. And even if Toby knew they were lies, he couldn’t stop saying them, and he knew, from the look on Adil’s face, that he broke his heart. How could he beg for his forgiveness and let him know how much he loved him?   
He hadn’t a clue, but he must come up with something, he couldn’t risk to lose Adil, he was just too precious to him.

Adil changed fast and laid under the sheets, always avoiding eye contact with Toby, facing the wall. When he felt that Toby was laying next to him, he closed his eyes. He just wanted to sleep, this awful day to be over…it didn’t go as he planned: when he went to Toby’s room to tell him he would go to the police to clear him, he didn’t expect him to tell all those horrible things. He didn’t expect to be so heartbroken, and lost and hopeless to decide it wasn’t worth anymore. He didn’t expect Toby to run to him and save him. He didn’t write the letter with this purpose, he just wanted to say goodbye, and he actually thought he would never even read it…

“Can I hold you?”  
Toby’s voice was a whisper, and Adil found himself unable to say no.   
“Yes, yes you can”  
Toby closed the distance between their bodies and hug him, feeling so relieved he could this again, when he thought they could never lay like this anymore.

“I love you Adil”

He didn’t reply. Of course he loved him too, but too many things has happened and he has overwhelmed. He just wanted to sleep, tomorrow he would think of what to do.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

They had breakfast in silence. Toby tried to have a conversation, asking Adil how he felt, if he wanted to see a doctor, to come back with him at The Halcyon, but the man answered only with “yes” and “no” and it was clear that his mind was miles away.

When finally Toby left, Adil could break down and cry all the tears he kept inside not to make his love worry more.  
And when he finished, he felt lighter, almost relieved and suddenly it was all clear: he knew what he had to do.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Toby came back later that evening, he found two bags on the floor and Adil waiting for him with a cup of tea on the table.  
Toby tried to ignore the bags, and approached Adil with a smile, he had a great news to give him!

“Before you say anything: Mr. D’Abberville is dead”

Adil opened his eyes in surprise…that was something he would have never considered…but, even if he was relieved, it didn’t change his plans.

“How it happened?”

“A bomb dropped at the hotel last night” Toby paused, Adil’s face became pale with fear “the lounge and the first two floors above it are damaged, and his room was right there…”

“And Emma, your brother, your mother?”

“They are all fine…I’m afraid Sonny and Betsey didn’t make it”

Adil closed his eyes. It wasn’t fair…his closest friends…now that they were finally together.

“I’m leaving” he opened his eyes, to look at Toby.

So that was…Adil was running away from him. He couldn’t blame him, after everything he went through and after Toby’s saying him to disappear for there would never be a place for him in his life. But it killed him…how could he go on without Adil’s smile? He desperately wanted to find good reasons to make him stay, but the only one was that he loved him, and it didn’t sound strong enough right now.

“I’m going back to India. I’ll stay with my family for these last few days and then I’ll leave at the end of the week”

“So that’s how it ends?”

“Toby…we can’t stay together, not now, not here, not after everything we did to each other”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to do it…live without you”

Toby couldn’t stop the tears from falling down. He didn’t want to look pathetic, and he knew crying wouldn’t change things, but he simply couldn’t stop. The love of his life was leaving, going on the other side of the world because of him…it was too much to handle.

“You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. What happened can’t be cancelled with a kiss or by saying “I love you”. It wold come out eventually and it will destroy us. We have to move on, or at least try to do it otherwise we’re going to hate each other”

“I could never hate you…”

“Toby, believe me, there’s nothing else to do. I have thought about it all day long. I love you, I will always love you, but I cannot stay with you”

Adil let Toby stay with him that night, they laid together, holding each other for the last time, crying their last tears. Adil knew he was right, that this was the only opportunity for them to try to happy again, while Toby was already thinking of when the war would be over and he would have been able to reach Adil in India and convince him that they could be happy only together.  
He was sure that was their destiny, it was just a matter of time.


	2. Chapter 2

Adil was seated on a bench, admiring the beauty of the Taj Mahal at sunset, like he’d done every month, on the 15th, for the last four years…it was silly, and he knew it, but this was the day Toby and him got together, and he wanted to celebrate this personal anniversary in the place that was a symbol of true love and devotion.

It was a torture, a pain he inflicted to himself every month, to remind him what he left behind, and the reasons why he made that choice.

Every time, he swear it was the last one. He was perfectly aware that continue to think about the past couldn’t help to heal his heart. But he found out that he didn’t want to heal, that he couldn’t stop remembering how happy he was with Toby and that probably he had made the worst mistake of his life leaving him.

He’d spent those four years like a priest, devoted only to the cause of India’s independence, in which he became very involved. He had declined wedding proposals, avances from both men and women, because he simply couldn’t think of kissing and touching someone who wasn’t Toby Hamilton.

He hadn’t any idea if he was fine or injured or dead, if he got married or was still single, if he was still working for the Ministry of War or not…he cut all the ties with his life at The Halcyon, and had only occasional letters from his family.

Probably it was better this way, not knowing the truth, he could continue to daydream that one day Toby will come to him, that they will forgive themselves and live together, still in love like that day of long time ago…

“Adil”

Here it was again, the dream he always made when he was there: Toby calling his name…but every time he turned to where the voice came from, there was no one.

He turned, already prepared for reality to destroy his dream.  
He blinked, once, twice.  
His heart skept a beat then started to run faster.

Toby was there, so gorgeous wearing only a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a pair of beige trousers. And was smiling, the most beautiful smile Adil had ever seen on his face.

“Can I seat there?”

Adil nodded, completely unable to speak, his throat dry.

“It’s breath-taking…” Toby was looking fascinated at the Taj Mahal, sitting close to Adil, but not enough to invade his personal space.  
Adil turned his look to the monument too, staring at Toby was too dangerous. “Yes, yes it is”  
He kept looking at the Taj, but he felt Toby’s eyes on him.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine…pretty busy actually…I’m working for the Congress National Party now”

“That’s great! You’ve found your place, it seems”

“I’m home, I’m doing something to help my country, I feel useful” he finally took the courage to turn to Toby “and you?”

“Well…I’m taking a break. I’ve worked hard during the war, and now that’s over I needed to refresh my mind and have time for myself”

“And how’s everyone doing at The Halcyon?” Adil wanted to keep the conversation away from the “love” chapter. He knew they would come there eventually, but he still wasn’t prepared to face it.

“They’re fine. Freddie and Emma got married few weeks ago, she’s still working as vice managing director and Freddie is still in the Air Force. Mother is fine too, she found a very kind French gentleman and I think she’ll transfer there. Joe is back to the US and life is going on like always”

“I’m happy to hear it. How did you find me?”

Toby smiled, he could feel Adil was relaxing after the initial shock.

“Finding your family had been quite easy actually, you left their contacts at the hotel in case of emergency. Your sister had been really kind and told me where you lived. Deciding whether I should come here to win you back or not was the hardest part…”

There it was, they had to talk about it. Adil has had this conversation with Toby so many times in his mind, but now, that he was really facing his love after more than four years apart, he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to say.

“But you decided to come…”

“Freddie and Emma convinced me. They noticed I had lived like a recluse for the last years and when I wasn’t able to smile even at their wedding, they asked why. And I told them everything”

“Lord Hamilton told you to come here, for me?”

Adil couldn’t believe it. He’d always thought Freddie Hamilton was a really good person, but he wasn’t sure he would have taken well the fact that his twin brother was attracted to men and had an affair with the bartender.

“He was more upset because I haven’t told him the truth earlier than because I’m homosexual. And he was right. We should have talked. You should have talked to me when D’Abberville came after you, and I should have talked with Freddie when I discovered everything”

Adil turned his look away again. Toby was right, he had thought about it so many times. If he’d told Toby about D’Abberville threat, they could have faced it together. Instead, he ruined everything, trying to deal with it by himself.

“But we can’t change things, and I think we’ve punished ourselves enough. We hurt each other, and I don’t think either of us is happy with this situation”

Adil shook his head no, still avoiding Toby’s eyes, because his ones were full of tears.

“Adil, look at me, please”

He took a deep breath and did it. There was no anger or hate or disgust in Toby’s look, only love, unconditional endless love that he was sure was reflected by his owns.

“I’m here to ask you to be together again. I’ve tried, but I can’t live without you. I’m a mess and I can’t do anything right if you’re not by my side”

“I’ve dreamed about this to happen so many times during these years…and now I don’t know what to say”

Tears were falling from Adil’s eyes, but he was smiling, overwhelmed by the happiness that was invading his heart.

“Just say yes, say that we can start again”

“Yes, Toby. There’s nothing else I want more”

Toby let out a nervous chuckle, he was so tense. He wasn’t sure how Adil could react after all this time…”Ok, ok…”he was repeating this to convince himself that it was true, that was actually happening: Adil and him back together.

“I feel the urgent need to kiss you...is there somewhere we can go, more private?”

Adil smiled “You’ve seen where I live, I don’t think there will be privacy there”

“What about the house I rented?”

“You rented a house?”

“Yes”

“For how long?”

Toby smiled shyly “Six months”

“You are pretty sure about your skills, Mr. Hamilton…” Adil said teasingly.

“I’m totally not, but a man can hope…”

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short story that came out of nowhere few days ago.  
> I wrote it in only two hours...  
> I still have a lot of other ideas, but they are longer and more complicated.


End file.
